Sitting here at the lobby waiting for a reply, a call back..
It got me thinking..
Some part of me yearns for a caring and loving father like everyone else..
Why is the question I asked..
Why me? Why am I the one in this situation?
A father who is so fake and so self centred..
A father who only think abt me when he needs me..
A father who treats both daughters very differently..
It really hurts.. Despite the fact I try to not be bothered..
He's return gave me a hope that he is change and it all turned out a form of disappointment..

Dx had his knee op yesterday..
And in the midst of me worrying, my girlfriends was so supportive..
After the dinner at arnold's fried chicken to curb dx's cravings..
We call it the feast before the diet, we had mj session at my hse till late..
And dx has to be admitted by 7.. Hahaha
we got back to his place and finally slept at 345am before waking up again at 615am..
Seriously! SGH has very very bad service..
Have you heard of nurses who are unwilling to call you when the patient is done with op!!
They just kept asking me to come back and enquire..
It was seriously so BAD!!
Anyway.. The girlfriends brought me some joy..
They made time for lunch with me at everton area..
Yummy bak kor mee and fish steamboat soup..
Then it got really humid and we headed for leigh's place which is just a mile stone away..
Some tasting of love letters homemade by L's gugu before a afternoon of mj..
1st K was distracted and 'zha hu' that cost her quite a bit..
Then I got distracted too after knowing dx is done and back in the ward..
We ended the half round mj and head back to the hospital with K..
She help me got a couple of things and stayed till Xinkai came and they left for dinner..
Mum then came by followed by L and P..
See!! This is wat girlfriends are for.. So sweet girls..
Really gladly to have both of u and including the partners!!
Sometimes I wonder if I had done some good things in my previous life (if there was) to deserve them..
We call it a night at the hospital and I headed for dinner with them..
They brought me for some Italian pizza and pasta..
Yum yum!! Dinner ended with frolick yogurt..
And a ride home from P..
After being up and ard for almost 20 hours, I finally fell aslp at 2am..
And now I'm on my way to take dx home!!

I decided to do a post after reading the both GQC blogs!!
2009 was really a short year I felt..
But many many things happened and warmed my heart..
The sisterlove is one I definitely got to mention!
The kind of time and fun and laughter and secrets we share..
I cherish them ALL!!

I started out the year in Hawaii watching fireworks .. My very first trip to visit dearie..
And a stopover in Taipei
I started working for my dad..
I tried Jaan for the 1st time on Mum's birthday
I left again for hawaii for dearie's graduation..
Me, dearie and mum went on a holiday in the eastern part of US and Orlando!!
Did I mention I'm a Disney fan??
I'm so gg back there.. I love the place..
Panana became part of GQC and
Dearie came back for good!!
I started my wedding planning course..
Met Karen for the 1st time and had lots of fun during her stay back here..
I had a surprise birthday dinner and presents!!
Then I love Christmas!! We exchanged prezzies..
And I dance for Christmas and training was kinda irritating with the instructor
who was my senior back in secondary school.. Who love torturing us during St john's..
Then countdown to a new year at dearie's wuyi place..
And ending the day with L and P at Jalan Kayu..

After all the procrastination.. I finally sank to a point that I lost confidence in myself
and i'm starting to depress..
thinking back abt the weigh I was one year back is making me feel FAT!!
so much so as to I feel like I will break a chair when I sit on it..

I have to do something abt it and do it asap..
I told dearie how I felt and he says diet and exercise is the only plan..
hence he decided tt both of us are going on a diet plan..

This morning I had my brekkie of less sweet soya bean milk with 2 biscuits..
Then for lunch is a regular velvety mushroom soup with an apple for snack..
Dinner tonight will be a portion of beef kway teow and followed by grandpa's tang yuan..
It's winter solace today and in Chinese culture, a family sits together and
eats a bowl of tang yuan to signify 团圆！

不公平
　
　　
　演唱：Jenny Yang

　走了那麼遠　發現你不在身邊
　獨自走過了什麼　自己都不了解
　未來的藍圖應該有你　不該只剩嘆息
　只是偶爾　淚流不停

　堅強的理由　只是自己騙自己
　你眼中的恐懼　說什麼都多餘
　付出的一切值不值得　永遠不會有答案
　只有天知道我有多麼愛你

　一顆心屬於一個人　在愛情裡什麼算公平
　愛的深也傷的深　是不是催眠了自己
　一顆心屬於我自己　愛情裡找不到公平
　而當你最後選擇了逃避　我學會不公平

　　本來就不公平

i haven been in the best of mood recently..
short temper.. plus get upset super easily..
and we have been quarrelling..
and i have been crying..
though things gets resolve but there's this fear in me..
is our relationship strained or strengthen?

we started the morning with a quarrel..
which i got upset and he got frustrated..
am i really in the wrong?
i have been thinking abt it the whole day..
am i too demanding??
i was super upset with him going to jb with his friends and telling me his home and only explain to me in the morning that he said it to not make me worry..
but then tell me how can i not be..
i cant even worry abt ur safety?
am i really asking for too much of ur time to be spend with me?
trying to spend every bit of my free time with u to replace those time that were lost when u were away is that wrong?
maybe i have to change my whole lifestyle to suit his?
i feel that i always lose to sleep.. be it him or even the one before..
sleep seems to always come before me..
of coz it's natural that the body needs rest but why do ur body seems to need more then usual..
but it's u who's no giving it rest at the proper time for it to recuperate..
calling him at 330pm...
judging from his voice he needs more sleep.. and true enuff..
he din wake up till 5pm..
and class is at 7pm..
things have been changing so much since he is back..
have i not been able to adjust to them hence the upsetness and the quarrels??
just past 36 days and i think we have quarreled more than 5 times..
is that healthy?

though i'm half way thru my previous post..
i really need to express my excitment somewhere..
my dearie is coming back for good!!
and he will be back tonight!!

in a few hours and i'll be off to pick him up from the airport!

You won't know what happens if you dont even try..

It is important to get hold of every chance to
gain your own happiness..
Once missed could be forever gone..
Love is everywhere in the air!


Little Princess Marilyn
19 September


*truckload of happiness
*chest of gold
*more travel
car (as long as it has 4 wheels & can move)





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memories of the Princess and her Prince
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