Sunday, March 8, 2009
Honestly, i find that my life is so so mandane..
maybe it's a comma, maybe it's a full stop, maybe it's a dot dot dot..
life seems so stagnant and so routine..
waking up every morning would be the happiest time of the day..
despite the forever dragging myself to wake up and even falling back asleep and not being able to wake up..
getting to see dear dear would be the best reward for me to wake up..
at times when he calls so many times to wake me up, i just feel so bad keeping him waiting for so long..
then when i finally wakes up..
i'll get washed up. changed and talk to dear dear for a while before i leave for work..
the only privillege i have at work is to be able to still see dear dear at work..
then after work i'll go for my combat classes or lation class..
when it comes to weekends..
it's exercise and food... and church..
my life seems to be only revolving mum and dad..
i hardly even see grandpa these days..
i wonder if working for him is the right choice..
it takes up so much of my time to be doing some other things..
when u really don know a person well-enough it seems like nothing is right..
it is far too close for comfort..
i miss those days when some friends meet up so often..
then again.. my friends are numbered..
everyone have their won life to be so busy with..
most probably just me always standing at a crossroad looking for an easy way out..
haven been able to sleep properly have been a disaster for me..
i dont feel that i'm at all in a pink of health..
i hate the feeling of feeling sick and all..
headaches, bloatedness, gastric..
they all seems to be coming back..
the lack of sleep i also pulling me down on my exercise plans..
not being able to concentrate and have more power..
and not being able to control my diet better..
i feel so weighted down by a rock in my chest..
i need to let it go..
i need to release it..
i need a breakfree in life..
the happy little girl who feels loved is still bothered by the worldly problems..
setting out to do something i think i want to achieve..
at the same time yet not knowing if i can achieve it..
and not knowing if i'll be able to do well..
i feel weak.. low confidence in my own capacity..
as much as i wanna achieve big things yet i'm scared of stepping out a comfort zone..
i don think of myself as someone optimistic rather i feel that i'm so so pessimistic..
great dreams and zero capacity..
seems like nothing i set out to do worked out so far in life..
your princess.Y9:27 AM
