Let's do a little back track..
this is a little long ago..
but never the less here it is...
my little surprise on valentine's..

When i though it's going to be a lonely Valentine's for me this year..
being 10834km away from him..
I spend that day like another family day..
little did i realize my surprise was just awaiting me..

although it's not himself who appeared at my door this little bouquet of flowers was already able to keep my smile on the whole day..
he wake me up on monday morning as usual to find my door bell ringing with a delivery man and a bouquet of flowers..
how well planned..
Here are some pictures..

As promised to have pictures in my blog..
Finally the pictures for Hawaii are ready for viewing..
but it's really a very very long list..
hahahaha..

friday after work I went down to chan brother's to pay for my air tickets..
met up with dear dear's parents and I finally have my tickets to Honolulu..
it is CONFIRM!
despite me reminding them to bring their passports, I forgot mine.. wat a joke..
afterwhich we had dinner at the chinatown smith st hawker centre..
didn't have much appetite, ended up eating the tang yuen..
but back at home, I started my dreadful and fattening snacking.. haiz..
saturday was an eventful day..
started my day with a short conversation with dear dear..
then I made my way to wileen's place for care grp.. I guess this is a much better grp for me to hang out with..
aft a quick pizza lunch with my new friends, I rush down to pacific plaza for combat..
I think I was too rush ended feeling bloated and crampy..
so we only did one session and headed to the massage chair..
next up was true spa free massage.. I wonder am I starting to get immuned to it or i'm really too tired?

after I did a rough count i'm left with:
- 7 days to Mum's birthday
- 9 days to pay day!
- 10 days to meeting the 'aunties'... hahaha..
- 21 days to Easter Sunday
- 51 days to Hawaii!!

which will mean that i'm left with 50 days to LOSE WEIGHT!
I really need some determination to do something about it!

i'm stting in the office like very afternoon without dear dear on my screen..
many pple say i'm living a carefree life now..
i would agrre up to a certain extent..
who is able to have their boyfriend on the screen during working hours?
that's a privilege to me..

i feel so dependent on him even though he is not here liao..
i wonder how would it be like when he is back..
i'm waiting so impatiently for him to come back..
i was just reading back some of kelly's posts and the little part on dear dear came up..
hahaha.. i tot that's really fun..
and i think he's perfect for now coz he's be very nice to me yet i have not neglected my friends..

i realize my blog is really really plain..
no photos at all...
ahahahaha..
ok.. i think it's time to upload some...
hahahahaha...

i'm meeting yuerui, deborah and lim hui tonight..
1st time i'm meeting them after dear dear left..
it has been months then again..
the friendship between us has always been like that..
1 yr the most thrice.. hahahaha
dinner only at almost 9pm tonight..
i guess i shall eat some before that..

i din mention this i believe..
i'm taking up an online wedding planner course..
really interesting!!

looking back at the posts that i have..
i seems to be always complained abt life..
it got me wandering..
y am i always so caught up with life that i seems to be so bothered..

i have a sudden spur in me abt old days..
i miss the days when dear dear was back here..
so much..
though the place was dreadful.. i know dear dear was there..
now at times when i need someone dear dear is so far away..
i chose this path from day one and i have not regretted it..
though i want him back here i don want to be selfish..
though i know he wants to be back.. i want him to make the right choice..
maybe i am pushing him too hard.. am i?

i miss the younger days when i can play and be happy without anything to think and worry about..

Honestly, i find that my life is so so mandane..
maybe it's a comma, maybe it's a full stop, maybe it's a dot dot dot..
life seems so stagnant and so routine..

waking up every morning would be the happiest time of the day..
despite the forever dragging myself to wake up and even falling back asleep and not being able to wake up..
getting to see dear dear would be the best reward for me to wake up..
at times when he calls so many times to wake me up, i just feel so bad keeping him waiting for so long..

then when i finally wakes up..
i'll get washed up. changed and talk to dear dear for a while before i leave for work..
the only privillege i have at work is to be able to still see dear dear at work..
then after work i'll go for my combat classes or lation class..

when it comes to weekends..
it's exercise and food... and church..

my life seems to be only revolving mum and dad..
i hardly even see grandpa these days..
i wonder if working for him is the right choice..
it takes up so much of my time to be doing some other things..
when u really don know a person well-enough it seems like nothing is right..
it is far too close for comfort..
i miss those days when some friends meet up so often..
then again.. my friends are numbered..
everyone have their won life to be so busy with..
most probably just me always standing at a crossroad looking for an easy way out..

haven been able to sleep properly have been a disaster for me..
i dont feel that i'm at all in a pink of health..
i hate the feeling of feeling sick and all..
headaches, bloatedness, gastric..
they all seems to be coming back..
the lack of sleep i also pulling me down on my exercise plans..
not being able to concentrate and have more power..
and not being able to control my diet better..

i feel so weighted down by a rock in my chest..
i need to let it go..
i need to release it..
i need a breakfree in life..
the happy little girl who feels loved is still bothered by the worldly problems..

setting out to do something i think i want to achieve..
at the same time yet not knowing if i can achieve it..
and not knowing if i'll be able to do well..
i feel weak.. low confidence in my own capacity..
as much as i wanna achieve big things yet i'm scared of stepping out a comfort zone..
i don think of myself as someone optimistic rather i feel that i'm so so pessimistic..
great dreams and zero capacity..
seems like nothing i set out to do worked out so far in life..

it has almost been a week since i started out on my exercise routine..
and let's see what i completed..

Monday
- walking in the morning
- combat at night

Tuesday
- combat at night

Thursday
- Latin class

Friday
- Combat at night

hahaha.. looks like i've missed out most of my walks in the morning..
haven been sleep really well again..
cant get to sleep till weird hours..
i think i have too much in my head.. thinking of unneccessary stuff again..
then again.. how can money not be an important issue in our lives..
haiz..

You won't know what happens if you dont even try..

It is important to get hold of every chance to
gain your own happiness..
Once missed could be forever gone..
Love is everywhere in the air!


Little Princess Marilyn
19 September


*truckload of happiness
*chest of gold
*more travel
car (as long as it has 4 wheels & can move)





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memories of the Princess and her Prince
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